Big bar. Big nut. Big finish.
Plant-based chocolate. Properly creamy.
Real Brazil nuts, scattered through.
Hazelnut paste folded in underneath.
The nut leads. The chocolate carries it.
Best with a strong espresso. Or a glass of Loaded Chocolate if it’s after work.
“Brazil nuts roasted and broken by hand, scattered late so the chunks stay loud. Big bar, big nut, big finish. We’re proud of this one.”
Four bites’ worth of notes. Not that you’ll get to four.
Brazil nut. Creamy, slightly sweet, properly nutty.
Cocoa pulls back to make room. Hazelnut paste rounds the edges. The nut keeps its line.
Long, buttery, big-mood. Stays in the back of the tongue for a while.
Someone who orders the biggest one on purpose. Right call.
Dirty Cow chocolate (cocoa, sugar, cocoa butter, hazelnut paste, shea butter, soy lecithin, natural vanilla), Brazil nuts. Made with 35% cocoa solids.
| Per | 100g | 40g serving | %RI* |
|---|---|---|---|
| Energy | 2416 kJ | 966 kJ | 12% |
| 580 kcal | 232 kcal | 12% | |
| Fat | 43.7 g | 17.5 g | 25% |
| of which saturates | 19.5 g | 7.8 g | 39% |
| Carbohydrate | 38.7 g | 17.0 g | 7% |
| of which sugars | 35.0 g | 14.0 g | 16% |
| Fibre | 6.9 g | 2.8 g | — |
| Protein | 6.7 g | 2.7 g | 5% |
| Salt | 0.008 g | 0.003 g | 1% |
*Reference intake of an average adult (8400 kJ / 2000 kcal). The bar is 80g — eat it however you like.
Yes. No dairy, no eggs, no animal anything. Hazelnut paste does the heavy lifting on the cream. We test it on a vegan focus group called “us”.
80g. About four bites for a small mood, the whole bar for a serious one. The wrapper doubles as a share bag — grab, smash, share.
Twelve months unopened, somewhere cool and dark. Realistically, twelve hours.
UK only for now. The chocolate doesn’t love long boats. We’re working on it.
Four more from the same factory. Different fruit, different mood. If you got this far, one of these is for you.
Three bars a month, our pick. Brazillionaire weekly if it were up to us.
Start subscription →All our bars. All our bottles. We’re as surprised as you!
Started small in a kitchen. Outgrew it. The factory came when people kept buying. The recipes never changed.
Plant-based, vegan, dairy-free and virtuous-ish since 2018.
“Brazillionaire tastes like a second espresso, in bar form. The point.”
“Bought for the name. Stayed for the coffee. Now buying for the cupboard.”
“A grown-up bar that doesn’t lecture. The fig is the closer.”
“I don’t love coffee chocolate. I love this one. Make it make sense.”
“Pairs nicely with end-of-day exhaustion. Strong recommend.”
“Brazillionaire tastes like a second espresso, in bar form. The point.”
“Bought for the name. Stayed for the coffee. Now buying for the cupboard.”
“A grown-up bar that doesn’t lecture. The fig is the closer.”
“I don’t love coffee chocolate. I love this one. Make it make sense.”
“Pairs nicely with end-of-day exhaustion. Strong recommend.”
