“Cookies No Cream is the closest I’ve come to disrespecting a friend’s chocolate.”
“Cherry Pop tastes like the cherry I remember from a cake my grandmother made. I’m not asking how.”
“Salty Susan should not work. I had three in two days. It works.”
“Honey Come Home is dangerous. I bought it for my mum. She returned the empty wrapper.”
“Pistachio YO! is what every supermarket plant bar wishes it was. Properly nutty.”
“Hail Mary Berry — I bought one. Then six. The dog watches me eat them.”
“Cinnamon Churros is breakfast now. Don’t tell anyone.”
“Chunky Dunky is a hug in chocolate form. Made me text my mum.”
“Cookies No Cream is the closest I’ve come to disrespecting a friend’s chocolate.”
“Cherry Pop tastes like the cherry I remember from a cake my grandmother made. I’m not asking how.”
“Salty Susan should not work. I had three in two days. It works.”
“Honey Come Home is dangerous. I bought it for my mum. She returned the empty wrapper.”
“Pistachio YO! is what every supermarket plant bar wishes it was. Properly nutty.”
“Hail Mary Berry — I bought one. Then six. The dog watches me eat them.”
“Cinnamon Churros is breakfast now. Don’t tell anyone.”
“Chunky Dunky is a hug in chocolate form. Made me text my mum.”
“Sooo Original is what I imagine Baileys would be if Baileys had any sense of humour.”
“Loaded Chocolate over ice is the only thing keeping me civil after 9pm.”
“Silky Strawberry is what summer should taste like all year round.”
“Took a bottle to a dinner. Came home without it. Worth it.”
“Loaded Chocolate in coffee is now my entire personality.”
“Silky Strawberry over vanilla ice cream. I don’t want to live forever, but I want to keep doing this.”
“Sooo Original is what I imagine Baileys would be if Baileys had any sense of humour.”
“Loaded Chocolate over ice is the only thing keeping me civil after 9pm.”
“Silky Strawberry is what summer should taste like all year round.”
“Took a bottle to a dinner. Came home without it. Worth it.”
“Loaded Chocolate in coffee is now my entire personality.”
“Silky Strawberry over vanilla ice cream. I don’t want to live forever, but I want to keep doing this.”
Reviews that read like declarations. We owe these people dinner.
“I bought one Cherry Pop because the name made my partner laugh. Then I bought five more because the bar made me laugh, which is harder. The chocolate is dark without being smug about it. The cherry tastes like actual fruit, the kind you used to nick out of a Christmas cake before anyone noticed. I’ve hidden two from myself and forgotten where.”
“I’m vegan but I don’t want my chocolate to introduce itself as vegan. Dirty Cow doesn’t. It introduces itself as chocolate. Cookies No Cream is the bar I send to friends who say plant-based bars all taste apologetic. They’ve stopped saying that.”
“Bought the Dirty Dozen for my mum’s birthday. She is now 67, plant-based, and rationing them like a wartime housewife. Salty Susan has been declared too important to share. Family group chat now has a moratorium on the word ‘Susan’.”
“Sooo Original is genuinely the first plant-based cream liqueur I’ve had where the cow doesn’t feel implied. Pour it cold. Don’t overthink it. The bottle disappears at parties and nobody confesses.”
“I drank Silky Strawberry at a wedding and a stranger asked me what perfume I was wearing. Reader, it was the liqueur. Reader, we’re still in touch.”
“Loaded Chocolate is dangerous on a Sunday. I have it in coffee on weekday mornings now and my productivity is a thing of legend. Or, possibly, the legend is the brand’s, and I am simply caffeinated. Either way, more please.”
Tell us what you thought. The good, the bad, the “I hid it from my partner”. We read every one.
Leave a review →