We read every email. Mostly because there aren’t that many of us. Pick whichever box looks closest to what you want.
You want to compliment a bar, send a photo of your dog with one, or just check we’re real. We probably are.
eatme@dirtycowchocolate.com →Wrong bar, wrong address, missing bottle, melted by an over-keen courier. Send the order number. We’ll sort it.
orders@dirtycowchocolate.com →You run a shop, deli, cafe, gallery gift shop, hairdresser’s till. We’ll send you the wholesale pack and three sample bars.
sales@dirtycowchocolate.com →Writing about us, photographing us, putting us in a magazine, or asking if we’d like to collaborate. We probably would.
eatme@dirtycowchocolate.com →Topper, packer, designer, accountant who’s also a poet. We hire slowly and rarely. We do read every CV though.
eatme@dirtycowchocolate.com →You want to write a thesis on us. Name your child after a bar. Ask if we’ll attend your wedding. All welcome.
eatme@dirtycowchocolate.com →We answer in the order things come in. Roughly two working days. Less if it’s about chocolate. More if it’s about your zodiac compatibility with our liqueur range.
Spend £30 or more in a single order and we waive the postage. The picker bundles and the bottle bundles all qualify.
Small orders get standard Royal Mail Tracked 48 at £4.95. Adds 1–3 working days.
We pack and post within 2 working days. You’ll get a tracking link the moment it leaves us.
Chocolate hates a long boat. We’re working on EU and US — if you’d like a heads-up, drop your email on the home page.
Anything not answered here? Email us and we’ll respond same day.
It was a joke that stuck. The cow is the plant-based bit pretending to be dairy. The dirty bit is the chocolate. It also makes us laugh, which counts.
Yes. No dairy. No eggs. No honey. No animals were inconvenienced in the making of these bars. The cow stays in the field.
Hazelnut paste, folded into the recipe until it forgets it was a nut. It’s in the bars and the cream liqueurs. That’s the trick.
Because cocoa’s up 240% in three years. We’d rather make fewer bars properly than more bars cheaply. We can explain at length, ideally over a coffee.
UK mainland direct. Europe via select retailers (see Stockists). North America — we’re working on it. Chocolate and summer plane holds don’t mix.
We send cold-pack between May and September. If it does melt, we replace it for free. It will still taste good. Just less photogenic.
Some bars arrive battle-scarred. Send us a photo — we’ll replace, no questions.
No. But we’ll happily name you a flavour in our shared memory. Email us with what you want named and why. We read every one.
Yes, in £15, £30 and £50. Available from the subscribe section. Best gift for the person who has “dietary requirements” written into their personality.
We’d give you the postcode but it’s a working factory, not a tour. Please don’t turn up. We will buy you a coffee at a normal cafe nearby if you really want to meet us.
Email is monitored Mon–Fri, 9am to 6pm UK time. Weekend emails get answered Monday. We don’t do live chat — you’d be talking to a robot, and we’d rather you talked to us.